"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." John 9:1-3

seasons: lesson #1

Hello, dear friend. It has been a year since I last wrote, and while I felt very unable to write in that time, I am now feeling the tug on my heart to begin again.

I’m not really sure where to begin, so perhaps I’ll just jump right in. I recently retired as basketball coach at the local high school. I have prayed for six years—since being diagnosed with MS—that the Lord would make it ABUNDANTLY clear when it was time to be done. I knew I could not give it up on my own. Almost every year, in the throws of the season—and quite frankly exhaustion—I have said, “This is it! I just can’t do it anymore.” But then at the end of the season, the Lord refreshes me, gets me excited about opportunities with the young women I coach and about beating next year’s teams around the county. I suppose in its own way, it’s like filling the car up with gas. When Bertha (my minivan has a name—thanks P. Davis!) was young, if she got low on gas the only panic was whether I’d make it in time to pull into the gas station to fill her up. Once full, she was ready to roll. However, Bertha has aged quite a bit since then. And now, when she gets low on gas everything seems a little more shaky. I’m also listening to the noises in the engine, the humming under the hood. She’s had doors replaced because they don’t slide anymore and they’re telling us she needs a new ball joint soon. I’m anticipating that the end is near.

Looking back on this season of life, Bertha and I have a little more in common than I’d like to admit. Bertha and my body have both aged and matured. And while I drive Bertha and am responsible for refueling her, taking her to get checkups and evaluating when it’s time to finally turn her in for good, it is not so much that way with my own body. Trust me, I like to think I’m in charge. I like to think I can power up every morning—just push a little harder. Be tough. Keep going.

But this season of life has humbled me. It is the Lord who wakes me up every morning. It is the Lord who gives me strength for today—who tells me His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). It is the Lord’s grace over the past eleven years, that I have been able to coach, and it is the Lord who has grown me closer to Him. He has revealed many sins— my pride being number one— and reconciled me to my own weaknesses in ways I never would have for myself

And in that way, I am so grateful for MS, which daily points to the only sustainer and giver of life, the Lord Jesus Christ.

This past fall was met with severe depression and while the basketball season was one of the sweetest I’ve ever had, I noticed many changes in myself. I have three children, a husband and a team. The drain of the physical walk of life, poured slowly for awhile and eventually overflowed like a flood into the mental and emotional parts of life. It truly was a daily—sometimes minute by minute—walking with the Lord.

In my prayers, I always asked the Lord that in my last season of basketball, He would help me to finish well and that He would be so very clear it was time. Of course, in the selfish and worldly parts of my mind, I hoped that meant we would cut down a net. End on victory!

But no. The Lord knows my sin—my pride, my desires to win (always)—and the Lord knows what is best for me. And so as I look back on this season of life, one of the greatest lessons He taught me—a place where He actually came in and tore me down to build my heart back up again—is that my calling as a coach was never going to be solely about winning games and championships. And it would never be something I could do in my own strength.

IT WAS ABOUT GAINING CHRIST. IT WAS A SEASON OF SOUL WINNING.

I read a newspaper article recently that spoke of the temporal element of the game itself versus the lasting impact of character. I can attest to this. I’ve won a state championship, won Districts and Regionals. And oh, the fun! But I can tell you with certainty, it is never enough. There is always next season, a new team, a deep, deep desire to stay on top. The Lord made me a competitive woman and my own sin made me competitive to a fault. It is not a sin to desire to win, but when winning consumes, when it hinders the effectiveness of my life for God, then it has ruling power in my life.

But the Lord….

When I was diagnosed with MS, God allowed me to hand over my heart. And praise God, He has slowly broken down the consuming sin of win at all costs. What He has brought me to the last two seasons, is that while I desire to win more than almost anything, I desire His will above my own. I desire to be more like Christ one very slow step at a time. While winning does matter and is fun, it is also fleeting. The medals are tucked away in a chest somewhere, and my attention is on the next game, not the past.

But in the past eleven years, I have felt this tug on my heart—stronger and stronger every year:

Lord, make me a fisher of men! Fix my eyes on the eternal prize.

And God is faithful! This season has been “a long obedience in the same direction.” One where my sin has hindered me, but my God has saved me. Where He helped me understand basketball was not my job—

It was my calling.

And that my purpose here is not to bring glory to myself (which I confess I can easily desire), but rather glory to my God. This season has not been about accumulating wins but about gaining more of Christ. Gaining more of Christ in my own heart and winning souls for eternity. I can look back on my time as a coach and genuinely know that there will be many young women standing with me in heaven someday. Women who gave their lives to Christ and are now out making disciples themselves. I pray that if they saw anything in me—it would be a woman whose love for Jesus Christ was the joy of her days, that their souls mattered most and that whatever they do—whether their job, motherhood, competition—the true JOY comes from knowing Jesus as the prize! Forever.

For my daughter...

The news of Kobe Bryant’s passing a few weeks ago has been the buzz in the basketball arena. It’s funny that it struck me less as the loss of a basketball player (considering coaching basketball is my profession)— but much more the loss of a father and of a husband. And I began to think, What if that was me?

And I wondered if I knew I wouldn’t be there for those precious adolescent years, what would be the most important pieces of wisdom I could leave with my children?? First and always would be Jesus. My faith. Someone wise recently shared this with me and I think it is something my children must know:

Life is short. Death is real. Judgment is certain. Jesus as Savior.

I cannot think of anything more important than my children’s faith in Jesus Christ.

But I think because basketball is so prevalent in my life—and because it just happened to be Kobe Bryant—it struck a chord in my heart of what I would want to tell my children if they were playing high school sports and I couldn’t be there.  I began to think how much I hope to impact my children’s outlook on sports—the lens I want them to work through if and when they get to that level.

And so I decided to write a letter—to my children—but especially my little girl. I think of her most because I know their dad has the experience from a male’s perspective covered. But there is something peculiar to being a woman in sports. So here’s to you little (or big) girl… .

 

Dear Charley (and Peyton and Cam),

I used to be a basketball player. Whenever I was introduced to someone new they would say, “Oh, are you the basketball player?”  It became my identity. It became my everything. I lived it and breathed it and wore the shirts—BASKETBALL IS LIFE. And it was. And on the outside everything looked perfect. I even won a state championship—I was the captain, the leader, the senior.

“You did that,” people said. “You should be so proud.”

And I believed them. Sort of…

Sort of.

You see, in high school, I went to church, I talked the talk—people would have said I was a Christian. They definitely said I was a goody-two-shoes. But there was something missing. And when I went to college—also to play basketball—there was still something missing.

And then one day, I realized it wasn’t a something that was missing. It was a someone. Jesus Christ. I never got to play basketball with Christ in my heart. I surrendered my life to Him the summer after my playing days were over. But for you—oh, how I pray that you will know Him sooner. Oh, how I pray that you will be able to play with and for Him. So now, as an older (hopefully wiser) woman I would like to share with you what I wish I had known.

***

1.      Christ first. The rest of this letter may not make much sense if Christ isn’t first in your heart. There’s a great song by Jimmy Needham called “Clear the Stage.” Listen to it. Whatever you love with all your heart—if it is not Jesus—is an idol. Basketball was an idol in my life for a long, long time. It still teeters on the verge every now and then. Make sure you understand this: when you get to heaven, God will not be asking how many assists you had or how many points you scored. He will, however, take account for how you lived your life for Him. You are commanded to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind and to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

Yes, even on the basketball court.

2.      You’re beautiful. Yes, you. Don’t ever forget it. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God knit you together in your mother’s womb. You are hemmed in both behind and before (Psalm 119). So when you step out on that court, step out with confidence, as a child of God.

Forget the critics. Fear of man is a sin. We are called to fear the Lord, not our neighbor. Not our parents (although you are called to honor and obey them!). And certainly not the fans.

Adjust your expectations of people. Don’t look for your worth from what others say about your game. Some might be jealous, some might be uninformed and some might simply be mean. Ask God to help you discern what is true.

Be able to take constructive criticism. If multiple wise people are voicing the same critique, it is most likely you who needs to change. Obey and honor your coach. Your coach is for you. Listen to her/him. I hope she will critique you, and I hope you learn to listen and submit to authority.  So when you don’t get to play, don’t point the finger. Turn it around and ask, How can I be a better player and teammate? Listen and be eager to learn. Trust me—you don’t know it all.

No NEDs (negative emotional displays). When you make a mistake—which you will!—move onto the next play. I worried so much about making mistakes, about looking silly, about getting yelled at, about what everyone else thought. I was never “good enough” in my own mind. I look back now and think how much better I could have been if I had played with so much less fear of man.

I know now I am not good enough. Nor will I ever be. That is why Christ came—because we are sinful people. Anything good in us comes from the Lord. Only Jesus can make us good enough. So surrender your sinful perfectionism and ask for God’s grace to be the best you can be.

Work harder than everyone else. Work hard because God has gifted you with a talent. How can you use it for His glory if you do it half-heartedly? Scripture tells us “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” (Col. 3:23). When you step between those lines, are you diving on the floor, are you pushing your limits? Are you communing with Christ there, too? Asking for His grace so that people might see Christ in you?

Don’t expect it to be easy. Nothing good in life comes easily. Don’t expect it to on the court. My advice is always to lead with your D. Be the first to the floor. Count your rebounds, not your points.

Understand this is a gift. He has given you the Gospel and He has given you this gift. Are you using them together? You likely won’t be able to do that or to command enough respect if you are not working with all your heart.  

3.      Be a great teammate. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Yes, that means if your best friend or the person you struggle the most to love starts ahead of you, REJOICE with them. And with a sincere heart. You may have to ask God to help you do this, but ask fervently. Our hearts are so hard—you will need God’s help to be a great and selfless teammate.

But always remember, great teams have great teammates.

Accept your role—whatever it is. I believe with all my heart that every role has value. Whether you are the starter and leading scorer or the last kid off the bench, be the most selfless kid on the team. Cheer the loudest and ask God to help you mean it in your heart. Play your hardest to make those around you better. Don’t pout. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Be thankful you are a part of a team and look for ways to share Jesus with others.

4.       “I want [you] to know to the marrow of [your] bones [you are] audaciously loved by Jesus Christ and to audaciously love Him back. This divine love drives all else of greatest value. If we boldly love Jesus, we will boldly seek Him, boldly serve Him, boldly obey Him, boldly trust Him, boldly share Him, boldly endure in Him through hardship and suffering, and boldly forgive when we’re offended. Big bold love. That’s what I want for [you].” (Beth Moore, Entrusted)

Are you playing this game for your glory or for His? Because it’s so easy to play for our own glory. It’s all I ever knew as a player. God help us to win, help me to score a lot of points, help me to be good. These things aren’t bad, but when we root them in the depths of our deceitful and sinful hearts, they are most definitely selfish.

I’ve heard people say that God doesn’t care who wins a basketball game, and I couldn’t disagree more. God knows every hair on your head—He is perfectly sovereign over every detail of your life—and that includes your performance and who wins the game. Where things go south is when your prayers are rooted in your own success and glory rather than honoring the Lord’s will in your life. Or when you equate your circumstances to God’s love for you. Just because you lose or have a bad game, does not mean you have fallen out of favor with your God.

No.

The question is what and who are you playing for? What’s your purpose out there? If it is solely to win a basketball game, then let me assure you, your playing career will be up and down and all around. But if you see basketball from a different lens—as a calling—it changes everything.

We must understand: “[our] calling is whatever God has in front of you at the moment” (Beth Moore, Entrusted). If you are a basketball player, then the court is your mission field. Every believer has the Gospel, but we are all uniquely gifted to share it. Don’t think for a second that if you can put that ball in the hoop it’s because of something great you did. No, it is a gift from your Heavenly Father.

When you step out on the court, you have an opportunity to share Christ with others.

And the best part is this: that when we play basketball with this perspective, our reward is eternal—lasting—not fleeting and empty. Don’t you see, when you commit your life to Christ, JESUS IS THE PRIZE!?!?! Not a net, not a trophy. Jesus. I pray my sweet girl, that God might use basketball as He has for me—and that you might, as Beth Moore says it, “taste the presence of Jesus.”

Oh, how I pray that you could taste the presence of Jesus out on that court. That you might be so inclined to His Word and His will that you cannot help but know Him there too. Jesus is not only for church or for quiet time. Jesus is for ALL the time. We are to commune with Him, depend on Him and trust Him. Yes, even and especially on a basketball court.

So get in the Word of God. Everyday. Be in prayer—on the court. The first verse I ever memorized was this: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:16-18). It doesn’t say sometimes. It says, “always,” “continually,” and “in all circumstances.” Don’t think because you’re on a court this goes out the door. It does not.

Know there is war going on for you heart and sports will challenge you more than you know. You will need Him to help you:

So ask: Lord, help me to play so hard and unabashed that someone might ask how it is possible. Lord, help me to think on what is true so that I might honor you in my thoughts. Lord, help me to win or lose in a way that honors you and gives you all the glory. All the glory I receive, help me to give it to you because you are the only one who is worthy.

I have a sign on the fridge that says, “And if we win we praise Him; and if we lose we praise Him.” This is a hard truth to reconcile in my heart. I want to win so badly. And I believe God made me competitive. I do not believe it is a sin to want to win. However, when it becomes the ruling desire in my heart, then I have an issue. And He challenges me constantly: which do you desire more? Your victory or mine?

And I confess at times, I want mine more.

Beg Him to make you a woman after God’s own heart—that the desire of your heart will be the desire of His.

Remember these few truths I have found about winning:

·         Victory without Him will be forgettable. It doesn’t last.

·         But victory with Him—I treasure it in my soul.

·         Defeat with Him, can still be meaningful and purposeful and fulfilling.

·         But defeat without Him is crushing and leads only to despair—a longing for a prize that will never satisfy our souls or a longing and drive for something that will eat away at our soul or that we may never even attain.

5.      Hating the other team is not worthy motivation. If you are driven by hate, you are not living out the Lord’s will. A wise young lady recently shared this thought with me by G.K. Chesterton: “A soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

Fight hard but with right motivation. Love the people you fight with and love the Creator who allows you to fight at all. Compete. Run through the wall. Play so hard that when you’re done, you can’t even walk.

“[You] can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”

 

***

 

Love Jesus, baby girl. That’s my message. And know that he audaciously loves you.

When you play—ask to play without fear. For the believer: “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”

Yes! You who have placed your faith in Jesus Christ—you are a child of God. Act like it. And when you walk out there—if honoring the Lord and communion with the Lord is your purpose—then you have nothing to fear. Not win or loss or accolades or trophies.

Just to go at it with all your heart and know that the audience you are playing for is in heaven. The one who already knows your failures, your sins, your shortcomings. The one who gave His only Son to die for you on the cross and then be raised again to sit at the right hand of God the Father. The one who came and lived a perfect life and died your death. The one who sees you washed clean.

With Him as your audience, with His glory as your purpose, you have nothing to fear.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go

(Joshua 1:9).

Even on a basketball court.  

Love Always,

Mom

Isaiah 49:16


"Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”

“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

-Isaiah 49:16

MORNING, NOV. 7: from Charles Spurgeon’s, Morning and Evening

“No doubt a part of the wonder which is concentrated in the word "Behold," is excited by the unbelieving lamentation of the preceding sentence. Zion said, "The Lord hath forsaken me, and my God hath forgotten me." How amazed the divine mind seems to be at this wicked unbelief! What can be more astounding than the unfounded doubts and fears of God's favoured people? The Lord's loving word of rebuke should make us blush; he cries, "How can I have forgotten thee, when I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands? How darest thou doubt my constant remembrance, when the memorial is set upon my very flesh?" O unbelief, how strange a marvel thou art! We know not which most to wonder at, the faithfulness of God or the unbelief of his people. He keeps his promise a thousand times, and yet the next trial makes us doubt him. He never faileth; he is never a dry well; he is never as a setting sun, a passing meteor, or a melting vapour; and yet we are as continually vexed with anxieties, molested with suspicions, and disturbed with fears, as if our God were the mirage of the desert. "Behold," is a word intended to excite admiration. Here, indeed, we have a theme for marvelling. Heaven and earth may well be astonished that rebels should obtain so great a nearness to the heart of infinite love as to be written upon the palms of his hands. "I have graven thee." It does not say, "Thy name." The name is there, but that is not all: "I have graven thee." See the fulness of this! I have graven thy person, thine image, thy case, thy circumstances, thy sins, thy temptations, thy weaknesses, thy wants, thy works; I have graven thee, everything about thee, all that concerns thee; I have put thee altogether there. Wilt thou ever say again that thy God hath forsaken thee when he has graven thee upon his own palms?”

***

Dear reader, if you know Christ as your Savior, what comfort this must be to you today. And if you do not, I pray what an encouragement it might be to fall on your knees and beg to know Him this very day.

Gentleness

I have struggled over the past year to post on this blog. I’ve shared my struggle with some of you and most certainly with the Lord: Why am I struggling, Lord? Do you want me to continue this blog?

And then He will encourage me with someone who mentions they have found hope in reading it or who checks back in to see if there is anything new. And I feel compelled to continue.

Yet nothing comes.

Until now. I have been studying Beth Moore’s Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. This past week we were taking a look at gentleness. I confess I kind of looked forward to gentleness. She even mentions it in her video—it sounds so sweet and hopefully not too challenging. That is until she began talking to us about the fact that gentleness in the fruit of the Spirit—generally speaking—is “humble submission to God’s will.”

Humble.

Submission.

Yikes.

Not necessarily two words I love to hear. But I am thankful for this week of study and the Lord’s grace of putting some more “Beth” in my life. He worked in my heart as I watched the supplemental video session on this week’s study of gentleness. He was making it clear that He’s not going to allow me to move on in this blog until I have humbly submitted to His will in it.

You see, when I first began this blog, you might remember by the very name I use—that it was an act of obedience—a humble submission to God’s will in my life. I don’t have social media, I’m not technologically inclined and yet one sleepless night, the Lord allowed me to create this blog to share His truth and the ways He is working in my life and struggles to hopefully comfort others in theirs (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

It is certainly humbling to be honest about life. And this past year and a half, as I’ve alluded to several times without much depth, has been one of the hardest of my life. I believe the Lord desires me to share some of those struggles here before He will allow me to continue on with this blog. I believe He is calling me to “live beyond myself”—to gentleness—to humbly submit to His will.

So here we go…

I see a counselor. There you have it. I have been talking to a counselor since the first year I was diagnosed with MS. I remember the Lord’s grace in revealing His Word to me that MS had happened in my life “so that the works of God could be displayed in [me]” (John 9:3). And I remember, even in this blog, putting words to the page and mouth that I was okay. That I trusted God. That He would get me through it. It’s one thing to say it—it’s another thing to live it. And by his faithfulness, I did. For awhile. But life is hard and there is so much more to us all beneath the surface than we are often willing to admit. And we know God’s will for us is not to remain the same. It is to become more like Him.

But I did not see a need to see a counselor for my MS—I was reading my Bible, God was at work, and I had it all together.

So the Lord put other things in my life to force my hand. Other wounds that needed binding up—other wounds that would someday turn into testimonies of God’s faithfulness. So I found myself that winter and spring in a situation far beyond my control: one that was so hard and yet so meaningful I would do anything to see it through. Even pursue counseling.

It has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Biblically-based, Christian counseling has been an answer to my prayers in ways far beyond anything I could have asked for. I believe I am at one of the most solid and helpful counseling centers in our area: Fieldstone Counseling in Green, Ohio (fieldstonecounseling.org). God used my struggle to get me to go somewhere I would not have gone if I hadn’t been so desperate. And this, I believe, is what He has done with me this past year and a half.

He brought me to a place of such desperation and despair that I would pursue help—both from Him and from people—in ways I otherwise never would have done. He was growing in me both humility and submission… .

Anxiety has been a struggle my whole life. It has become like an unwanted companion, making his home right in that area on top of my chest. I could give him a name and tell you he feels just like a knot—that if it was possible to reach down there inside of myself and just pull him out, things would be so much better. I can wake with him there for no reason at all, and honestly, my husband argues I can even go looking for him if he seems to go away for a little while. I have always managed to subdue him. To out work him. To pray through it. But i confess he is persistent.

And then came depression. I have not struggled with depression in my life until now, and I often pray the Lord will never let me go back to that place again. It was a place of darkness. A place where I met with the worst parts of myself and sat down for tea with Satan, while he coaxed me into believing all his awful lies. Depression and anxiety became the best of friends and my loyal companions, sure to be with me wherever I went.

They met with pride and fear and promised to make everyday as horrible as it could be. I would go to bed at night hoping I would not wake up the next morning. I never desired to kill myself but desperately hoped I wouldn’t have to live long. I confess I didn’t hope to die to see Jesus—I hoped to die out of selfishness, so that I wouldn’t have to experience the pain anymore. And that is partly why I knew it was not of Christ. That this wasn’t right.

And I’m so very thankful for the strong believing friends—the real friends—in my life who spoke God’s Word to me, who reminded me of God’s character and ultimately called it what it was: Abbey, do you think you need to pursue medication for anxiety?

Wait. What? Me? Medication?

And so i found myself again at this place of total desperation. Beth Moore tells us the Hebrew word for “wounds” means “pain, wound, sorrow, affliction, grievance.” And my wound was gaping open. As she illustrates in our video session from Psalm 147:3, our wounds need binding up. And so I begged the Lord for help, as I had done for months. And He had on my heart so carefully Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Are you going to trust me with the things you are struggling with, Abbey? Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… (Matthew 11:28). Are you going to take the help I’m offering? Are you going to stop trying to do it all yourself?

And so, with help from the Lord, from my counselor, from my friends and my doctors, I was able to pursue two things:

First, another surrender. A surrendering to the Lord that there are some things in this life that will not go the way I hope, that will be completely out of my control. Will I trust Him? Will I not only know but BELIEVE that He is God and I am not.

Secondly, I pursued medication. This has been a process, one I am still tinkering with at this time. Please know I’m not a person who cries, “Medicine for all!” No, it took me to be so completely desperate to pursue it at all. But I am certain it is a gift of God and something that is helping me in my daily struggles.

And in all of this the Lord worked through my sinful nature, especially my pride. He was working out in me gentleness—a humble submission—even as He works it now in this very blog post.

At the end of the video session on gentleness, Beth Moore recaps on some of the illustrations she used from both Jesus and Job. She says, “Their resultant scars from wounds God healed became the marks of grace and trust.” She reminded us that perhaps we have scars left on us to bear the mark of Christ so others can touch them and believe. So that I can say to you today that my joy is back, that God is healing in His time and that my HOPE is still in Christ.

As I worked my way through this depression and anxiety, my neurologist later told me that they are now considering every patient who is diagnosed with MS to also be considered for anxiety and depression. Perhaps, they are saying, there could be something linked between the number of lesions in the brain or the chemicals being released… . I do not know the fine details, but I do know the incredible number of lesions (scars) on my brain. I have a disease that literally means “many scars.” But today I can say I’m thankful for the scars from depression and anxiety. I don’t say it lightly and without some trembling. But I’m thankful for the scars. Because the wounds brought me to submission to my God and they inevitably brought me very practical help. And most of all, the scars remind me that Christ is the one who heals.

I pray this will be an encouragement to you, my friend.

Unicorns

We were having a serious debate in our household recently about whether or not unicorns were ever real. The kids felt that since Mystery Doug—the famous scientist on the smart board at school—says it’s possible it MUST be true!

It was a funny conversation between my children and my husband (the vet in the house!), but it was also a good reminder of how careful we must be in regards to what we say (and think) is true.

I can say from the anxiety and depression I’ve become more familiar with over the past year, that so much of my spiral downward began with thoughts that were not true. Recently, these two verses have been ones I’ve had to commit to memory:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Our little discussion as a family was silly and trivial, yet such a good reminder to me that while I’m not thinking about unicorns or Vamparina, I am constantly thinking on things that are not true. Things like, “Well, she didn’t talk to me, so she must be upset with me.” Or “I can’t believe I said that—how could God still love me?” These things are not true. I don’t know that other person’s thoughts. Unless she has told me she is actually upset with me, I should not make assumptions, or I should ask her if I’ve offended her in some way and if necessary, seek forgiveness. And God’s Word is so clear that even after I am assured of my salvation, I am still going to sin—and because of what Christ did on the cross, God does love me even though I am a sinner, and He chooses to see me washed white as snow.

When the spiral begins, it has been helpful to pray these Scriptures back to God—to ask Him to help me think in these ways and interrupt my unhealthy patterns. I am reminded to think on what is TRUE and not on the lies Satan works so hard to make us believe.

Our little family discussion also points to another major issue in today’s culture: do we believe everything we hear, read or see? Our world does not love Jesus and so much of it stands in direct opposition to what the Bible tells us. Even churches can be heard saying that our lives are all about our own personal happiness. And we should turn and run. We must be so careful that both our children and ourselves are not deceived—that we test things by the truth of the Scripture—is this what God tells us is true in His Word?

Let us be so thankful today for God’s Word—let’s memorize it, study it and ask the Holy Spirit to help us understand it. Let’s use the “sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.” And let’s be diligent in prayer, asking God to “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

God Most Truthful -- Part Three

If you are just checking in today after being away for awhile, I encourage you to start with my previous two posts. I’m working on a three part series about God’s Truthfulness and His work in my life over the past year. This was a talk written for a women’s church series on Jen Wilkin’s book, In His Image. The chapter I am discussing here is “God Most Truthful.”

GOD MOST TRUTHFUL — PART THREE

Wilkin reminds us at the end of the chapter of Ephesians 6:17--that the sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. And, oh, how I can look back on that time of being diagnosed with MS to see how He was sharpening my sword. Parts of the past year have been the darkest of my entire life, as I have dealt with anxiety and depression in ways I never had before—in large part as a result of the severe fatigue I experience from MS and the number of lesions in my brain. Not to mention my very own fallen nature. There were nights I went to bed and told my husband—oh, how happy it would make me if I didn’t wake up in the morning. I did not “feel” the hope you heard me talking about with my MS. What I felt, what I felt and heard screaming at me—crushing me—from every angle, were the lies. But by the power of Christ—He allowed His Word and constant prayer to hold me up. He put friends in my path to speak God’s Word into my life and He put prayer warriors in my life to pray God’s Word. And He put Scripture. TRUTH. We must “fight the lies with the Truth” as Ellie Holcomb so beautifully sings. And oh, how I prayed that TRUTH back to him sometimes minute by minute. Hour by hour. It was no mistake during that time that He had me studying the Psalms of ascent. Amidst the darkness, He continued to reveal His Word at work in my life: “Be still,” He put on my heart, “and know that I am God.”

I could not see the path through the pain, and so He lit the way with His truth. He used my previous experiences with His Word—his revealing of his truthfulness to me—so that I would know and believe in the words He gave me during this incredibly dark time. Though I did not feel it—He helped me to know it.  To know to cling to the only truth there is. And there was His Scripture once again.  Yet this time—so much more the challenge. “Oh, God, I prayed, your power is made perfect in my weakness.” And it was! Spurgeon says, “It would be more agreeable to flesh and blood to have a speedy answer, but believing souls have learned to be submissive, and to find it good to wait for as well as upon the Lord. Delayed answers often set the heart searching itself, and so lead to contrition and spiritual reformation: deadly blows are thus struck at our corruption, and the chambers of imagery are cleansed. The great danger is lest men should faint, and miss the blessing.”

And so this is the hope we have—His Truthfulness. His Word: “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son, that whoever should believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” His Word is true—we are sinners and Christ died for us on the cross that we might repent and believe and spend forever in heaven with him.  Do you believe this, friends? Because the Word is clear. Proverbs 30:5 tells us, “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” Have you ever stopped to imagine what it would be like if we did not have this reassurance? In Christ and in His Word? And perhaps there ought to be an urgency tonight to know Scripture. To memorize it. For if He writes it on our hearts and minds and we study it with such fervor and energy then we cannot possibly miss the blessing—perhaps not the blessing we desire, but certainly the Lord’s is always better. Wilkin says, “The Word of God is a weapon, forged to combat forgery. We must know how to handle the Bible rightly, and we must know it as comprehensibly as possible in our lifetime.”

Think of it this way: if our Bibles were taken from us and yet we had spent a lifetime learning it, knowing it, living it, well, then any evil that might desire to strip us of this blessing has no hope. Because it will be written on our hearts and in our minds. May we pray as Beth Moore has so aptly put it, “that the Word of God might be our magnificent obsession.”  

And so may I pray as I close: Dear God, Thank you for your Word and that you are a truthful God. May these women know the love of Christ in their hearts. May we know the truth and may the truth set us free. May we know and love the truth in a world teeming with lies. Amen.

God Most Truthful -- Part Two

If you are just checking in today after being away for awhile, I encourage you to start with my previous post. I’m working on a three part series about God’s Truthfulness and His work in my life over the past year. This was a talk written for a women’s church series on Jen Wilkin’s book, In His Image. The chapter I am discussing here is “God Most Truthful.”

GOD MOST TRUTHFUL—PART TWO

In my own life, God in all his faithfulness and in his sovereignty has prepared me to speak on this very word. I confess when I was first asked about speaking, I wanted the chapter on faithfulness, but it had already been taken. Instead, I got “God Most Truthful.” It was funny because the week I was asked to speak, I had opened my Bible to the very front and was reminded of a prayer I had penned in June of 2015. It read, “Here’s my heart, Lord. Speak what is true.” And so tonight I have the opportunity to share a story that began with a prayer I prayed three years ago. A story that led to the prayer written in my Bible and many other prayers centered around praying God’s Word.  

Three years ago this June, my husband and I and our three little children vacationed in Hawking Hills with his family for a long weekend. I committed my life to Christ when I was in college and God in His graciousness had me at a place where I was hungering for His Word in ways I never before had. And yet, as I buried myself in the gospel of John that summer, it was clear to me something was missing. I knew in my heart that I wanted to give Him everything—that He wanted my everything—but there was something stopping me. A very real and deep fear.  I had always been desperately afraid of suffering. When I would pray I would guard my prayers—“Dear God, please help me with this situation, but don’t let it turn out this way—don’t let it be too hard.” Really what I wanted was a God who would give me what I wanted, when I wanted. A God who would make it all about me.

But on that long weekend away, as my Bible lay open to the Gospel of John during my morning devotion time with the Lord, outside, alone—just me and God and the birds and the trees—I felt so overwhelmed by the Spirit that it was finally time—and so I did it. I lowered my head and prayed: God, I surrender. I give you my whole life.

That was on a Monday. That Wednesday I sat in a doctor’s office where I explained to a neurologist the severe and very odd numbness and tingling I had been experiencing all over my body. While I had dismissed it completely for months—“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing—just some lower back issues from having twins”--, others in my life did not see it as quite so insignificant. And so I sat there—mouth open, tears streaming, completely stunned—as the neurologist told me he strongly suspected Multiple Sclerosis.

In a moment my world had been rocked. Now it was a numbness on the inside that had me reeling.  In the moment of desperation, I needed to get away—to talk to God, and so I drove to a quiet street, parked the car and literally cried out: Why?

And in that moment I turned in my Bible to the gospel of John where I had been studying earlier that day. And I was at John 9—and He answered me—not with audible words but with the Word of God: John 9:1-3…

“As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

And I knew: this happened so the works of God might be displayed in me.

The next day, as I was laying down to go to bed, I leaned over and scribbled in my Bible with the best handwriting I could muster despite my tingling hands, the lyrics to my favorite I am They Song: “Here’s my heart Lord, speak what is true.”

On Friday, the neurologist called me back: “I don’t generally do this over the phone…” he said, “but, yes, I’m 100% sure, you have MS.”

It began with a calling to pray: I surrender.

And it continued with a prayer: Why?

And then the Word of God became my prayer: “This happened so the works of God might be displayed in me.”

And I knew then that that verse was Truth, and I believed by God’s amazing grace that it would be true in my life. There was great peace in trusting His Word. I struggled much those first two years and still do, facing a severe fatigue that goes on for weeks, sometimes months at a time among many other life style changes. And yet that Scripture remained at the forefront of my conversations with people. He fulfilled that Scripture in my life two years later in a very public way—He put those Scriptures on the front page of the Sunday newspaper. He shared my story on MS and God’s faithfulness through it all. He allowed thousands of people to “see the works of God displayed in me”—that somehow, someway I could view MS as a blessing.  He allowed me to start a blog to share and hopefully comfort people in their walks with suffering. And He is still working out that truth in my life, as evidenced by me sharing this story with you today. His Word could not be untrue. And, oh, how I pray that He has been glorified.

Looking back, I can see great purpose in the fulfillment of this Scripture prayer in my life. I believe God allowed these events and several others related to other Scriptures I was praying at the time to grow in me a deep love of His Word and most importantly, a belief that He really is God most truthful. I believe He needed me to know and believe in His truthfulness because He was preparing me for future battles…

God Most Truthful -- Part One

Hello, dear friends. I feel like I haven’t written in quite some time. At least not about the nitty-gritty parts of my life—the areas where God has been working most. In part, I confess, it’s because what I have to share isn’t always so fun. The past year was one of the darkest in my life, battling depression and anxiety in ways I’ve never experienced before. I have been wrestling with whether or not to continue blogging.

But in asking God for discernment on what to do, I feel led to continue and to pray that MS and this blog will not be wasted—that somehow God will use this blog to lead people to Christ and to a bigger view of who God really is.

As mentioned, parts of this past year were very hard for me physically, spiritually and emotionally, in part as a byproduct of the disease on which I started this blog; however, God is a faithful God. The one and only true God, who knows my most inner thoughts—my most sinful self—and yet still loves me in ways I cannot imagine. While going through this difficult time, I could not always feel that love, but because of His great faithfulness, He allowed me to know it. To cling to His Word and to pray it sometimes minute by minute.

This past summer, I was asked to share at our women’s church series about a chapter in Jen Wilkin’s book, In His Image. I would like to share my talk with you here in three parts. Please be reminded this was meant to be spoken and that it is a dialogue on the chapter in her book, “God Most Truthful.” All three parts are meant to be read as one so it will be most helpful to read through in order.

I thank God for His Word and pray this will somehow be an encouragement to you. I strongly recommend the book, as well.

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GOD MOST TRUTHFUL - PART ONE

I used to make my students memorize a poem by Robert Frost. You can imagine how thrilled all my boys were to engage in this task. Nonetheless, I had them memorize “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost:

 

Nature’s first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower,

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf

So Eden sank to grief

So dawn goes down to day

Nothing gold can stay.

 

And isn’t this so in our world? Nothing gold can stay. We, as Christians, can put meaning to this. We are aware of sin and its impact on this world. Here nothing is forever. And this idea—of the everlasting, of forever--is a very clear way we and our world are NOT like our God. Our God—He is forever. Psalm 190 tells us, “Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” Much of our world looks for truth from people like Robert Frost, but we as Christians must not fall into this trap. There is no Truth other than God’s Truth. We can know this because he tells us—that God and God’s Word—His Truth, it is eternal. I recently listened to a talk by Beth Moore where she said, “God can do anything He pleases but will never stray from His Word.” After all how could he? He could never betray Himself. As Wilkin puts it, “God is truth. He is its origin and its determiner. What he defines as true is eternally true, unchangingly true. Because he is truth, all of his actions reveal truth and all of his words declare it. As the fullness of truth itself, God is incapable of lying…” (123). I start here because, if we succumb to our culture’s views of moral relativism and good vibes and karma and “Just do you,” and we miss the Truthfulness of God in His Word—both in Jesus Christ and the Bible—this entire discussion of “God Most Truthful” crumbles in a moment.

As we begin our time together, I believe this is the cornerstone of God Most Truthful: John tells us, “in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” May we pause to let that sink in... . The Word is God—it is Jesus Christ himself. We cannot say we believe in God and at the same time reject His Son or His Scripture. MacArthur says, “Of course, there cannot be any discord or difference of opinion between the written Word of God (Scripture) and the incarnate Word of God (Jesus). In the first place, truth by definition cannot contradict itself. Second, Scripture is called the “word of Christ” (Colossians 3:16). It is His message, His self-expression. In other words, the truth of Christ and the truth of the Bible are of the very same character. They are in perfect agreement in every respect. Both are equally true. God has revealed Himself to humanity through Scripture and through His Son. Both perfectly embody the essence of what truth is.”

As we look to pinpoint the idea of God’s truthfulness amidst the other chapters of this book, I think it is important to begin by reviewing the purpose of the book in its entirety: to go back to the introduction. She tells us the purpose is to understand less of What I should do and more of Who I should be. I believe we must come first and foremost to the point that we don’t get to decide what is right and wrong in our lives. MacArthur suggests that “there are serious moral implications, too, whenever someone tries to dissociate truth from the knowledge of God… Abandon a biblical definition of truth, and unrighteousness is the inescapable result.” There is a place we must go. And what an incredible gift He has given us in His Word. I have been studying in 1 and 2 Thessalonians this summer and in the study, Beth Moore makes this observation: “The singular guard against deception is truth…We are blessed to have limitless opportunities to study under many pastors and teachers but, if we do not go diligently to the Scriptures for ourselves, the question is not whether or not we’ll be deceived, but how often.”

We cannot make a liar out of a God who cannot be such. And so, when we need a way to discern, let us look to the truth of Scripture. In a culture where the “new way of thinking,” the progressive way of thinking is always considered better, Wilkin reminds us that we must be careful of anyone pedaling “new truths.” She says, “…we need old truths recently forgotten. It is not personal truths we need, but rather shared truth preserved and passed down from one believing generation to the next, personalized to us in our current day. That shared truth is available within the pages of God’s Word to me and to all who believe.”   When we are not sure what we ought to do or think, it is helpful to be reminded—even when we don’t like it—that if it is not consistent with God’s Word, then it cannot be the way to follow…

Reality

At church we are studying Behold your God: Rethinking God Biblically. This struck me at my core, forcing me to look more closely at my own laziness and the distractions that I allow to take me captive. A.W. Tozer says in The Knowledge of the Holy, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Let us think on these things today with urgency.

“You may have as much of God as you want and in reality, you already do.”

Subtlety

I have a beautiful and wise friend who is so put together. Her folders are perfect, her binders are adorable, her books are never dog-eared and she has a beautiful assortment of pens she uses to underline the pages of her Bible so they don’t bleed through. She even uses a straight edge to make her underlines just about perfect. She knows I’m writing about her on here and that I love her desperately—and that I envy her high taste in reading and writing accessories. And every time I buy a book, I imagine that what I described to you above will also be me this time around. And then, inevitably, the book gets caught in the bottom of my purse or my mailman leaves the book on my porch in a cardboard box as the rain pours down, and it comes in slightly soggy (never to recover, of course!). Or as I’m underlining my Bible (with my new set of pens), an eager five year old comes and bumps me so the line that was intended to be straight, now looks more like a mountain peek.

While this all may sound somewhat comical, I do think it points to a bit of a bigger problem for me. One that points to the discontentment in my heart. I want to be someone I’m not. I am reminded of Genesis 3 and Eve and the serpent. His deception is not out-right. It is subtle—Eve, you can be like God: “Did God really say, ‘You can’t eat from any tree in the garden?’… No! You will not die…In fact, God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Subtlety. Satan can pile up so many subtle doubts and desires in our hearts that soon we desperately desire to become someone we are not. The lies are real—”Abbey, you’re not good enough. You’re not organized enough. You will never be like your friend…but you SHOULD be.”

And soon we begin to believe them, and our hearts become discontent—always desiring what we do not have and to be who we were not intended to be. I recently lamented to someone that I so often don’t feel the freedom spoken of in the Bible. And he reminded me that for those who have committed their lives to Christ, freedom is a spiritual reality.

FREEDOM IS A SPIRITUAL REALITY!

And I was so struck by his wisdom. Though I may not always feel something, I must guard against the devil’s schemes that I am somehow not free. That I am somehow not good enough for God—even when it comes to my Bible reading accessories! There is freedom in the cross! And I must cling to the Truths of the Bible—not to the lies that so easily creep in and around us on a daily basis.

This very same woman recently shared with me quote in a book by Tim Keller on Judges. He says, “The cross is the place where we find the freedom to accept ourselves without being proud, and to challenge ourselves without be crushed.”

And so as I look at my friend, I am challenged not to look at the worldly things I desire but rather at her heart. She is wise and a woman who fears the Lord. Instead of coveting her stuff or her look, may I challenge myself to be more like her in the ways she honors our Father in heaven. May I guard against the subtle distractions that lead to pride and envy..

Oh, God, give us hearts that are content and help the desires of our hearts to come from You!

Bed Time

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Leading Little Ones to God by Marian M. Schoolland

I am loving reading this to my boys before bed! Super solid—I don’t typically do all the “extras” but love each of the short chapters and the way they capture so many of the important aspects of Christianity and the Christian life in language little ones can understand. I would probably recommend for kindergarten/1st grade or higher!

10am -- Prayers Needed

Thank you to everyone who has been praying. Kaden has now entered a 6 week long round of radiation where he will receive treatment 5 days a week. Please join me at 10am every weekday to pray for Kaden and his parents, Tim and Jen. We are especially hopeful that the radiation will kill all of the cancerous cells but not all the healthy ones! Here is my prayer for him if you aren’t sure what to pray… .

***

Dear God,

Hear our cries for Kaden. We beg you for your mercy poured out on him and his parents. Lord, we pray that You will cover Kaden and under Your wings he will find refuge. May Your faithfulness be his shield (Ps. 91:4).

Father, we pray that this treatment will kill any cancerous cells and that the impact on Kaden’s healthy cells will be minimal. We pray that You will command Your angels concerning Kaden and guard him in all his ways (Ps. 91:11).

God, we remember what the psalmist says: “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Ps. 139: 11-12). God, you know this time is heavy and dark, but we thank you that the darkness is not dark to you. You are not caught off guard by any of this. Please be light and comfort for Tim and Jen and Kaden—may they see your mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:23).

We know, Father, that Kaden is fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139: 14)—that You are a perfect God who made Kaden just the way he is. We see your faithfulness in his smile and his energy and in his love. We see your faithfulness in giving him such loving parents in Tim and Jen. God we thank you for this family, and we pray this for them now: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

Oh, God, we know your love for us is greater than we could ever imagine. We know this because you sent Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins—that if we repent and believe in Him, we shall never perish but have eternal life. Oh, Lord, help us to respond to Your Son as your Word tells us to: “I believe and know that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:69). With this in mind, we pray for Kaden’s salvation, for healing and for hope. Through all of this, hold Kaden in the palms of Your hands.

 In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

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Update on Kaden

Thank you to those of you that have been praying for Kaden. The surgery went well and they were successful in removing the tumor. The little guy did so well after surgery and as you can see in the picture we were both one-eyed monsters just hours after he woke up. It is truly a miracle that God has given this world surgeons and nurses who can perform these surgeries, and I ask that you will continue to pray for daily miracles along the way. Read this devotion today (click on the link below) in John Piper's "Solid Joys" and took comfort in being reminded that God is in every detail. 

Ruler of All Nature 

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Prayers for Kaden

Calling all prayer warriors: I'm so sorry I've been gone for a few months. But I am back and begging you tonight for prayers. My sweet little nephew Kaden, who survived a brain tumor several years ago, is battling for his life again. This past Wednesday, they found the cancer had returned and that Kaden has another tumor. He will undergo surgery tomorrow (Monday) morning. 

I am certain we serve a loving and truthful God. May we turn to the only place we can go for comfort and hope: Jesus Christ our Savior and to the Word of God. I beg those of you who know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior to get on your knees with me tonight. 

"Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." 

Proverbs 30:5

 

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2

 

       Our fam with Kaden this past weekend at Lakeside

       Our fam with Kaden this past weekend at Lakeside

God's favor

Psalm 125

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
    which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
    so the Lord surrounds his people
    both now and forevermore.

3 The scepter of the wicked will not remain
    over the land allotted to the righteous,
for then the righteous might use
    their hands to do evil.

4 Lord, do good to those who are good,
    to those who are upright in heart.
5 But those who turn to crooked ways
    the Lord will banish with the evildoers.

Peace be on Israel.

***

I have been finding out in this season of life that the "Lord giveth and taketh away." Where do I stand, I have been pondering, when things don't quite go the way I want them to or have planned?  I have been brought back to the psalms the past few weeks and have been challenged in my study of Psalm 125 by whether or not I am placing my trust in the Lord or in the Lord's favor. Consider this thought:

David was the first to ascribe his prosperity to the Lord, but somewhere along the way he mistakenly placed his security in the blessing of God rather than God Himself. We often know enough not to ascribe our security to carnal, worldly things. Our greater and slyer temptation is to place our security in the blessings we readily credit to the Lord.

Even if our security is in something God has given us--our gifts, talents, loved ones, church family, consistent victory, passion for His Word--our seemingly secure mountain ultimately will fall into the sea. We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us, but God's favor and His person are not synonymous. If our trust is in manifestations of God's favor rather than God Himself, we will crumble like dry clay when He calls us to walk a distance of our journeys entirely by faith and not by sight (Beth Moore, Stepping Up).

What an incredible challenge this is in my heart. Do I trust in the Lord or have I come to trust primarily in His abundant blessings? Am I going to praise Him when circumstances are not as I would have them be and trust that His plan is much greater than mine?  I was challenged in John Piper's daily devotional yesterday to this end: 

We find the deepest meaning in life when our hearts freely go out of ourselves to admire God’s power, rather than turning inward to boast in our own — or even think about our own. We discover something overwhelming: It is profoundly satisfying not to be God, but to give up all thoughts or desires to be God.

In our giving heed to God’s power there rises up in us a realization that God created the universe for this: so that we could have the supremely satisfying experience of not being God, but admiring the Godness of God — the strength of God. There settles over us a peaceful realization that admiration of the infinite is the final, all-satisfying end of all things.

We tremble at the slightest temptation to claim any power as coming from us. God has made us weak to protect us from this: “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (2 Corinthians 4:7).

Oh, what love this is, that God would protect us from replacing the everlasting heights of admiring his power with the futile attempt to boast in our own! It is a great gladness not to be, but rather to see, God!

What does this mean for us? It means that when we have Christ in us, we can stand in awe of a God who can make our hearts thankful for circumstances that the world would otherwise despise. It means I can thank God for my MS--not because I like it but because I can see how He has worked it for good, how He has and is using it to conform me to the likeness of His Son, however hard that may be.  If I had been in charge, I never would have chosen MS, but oh, the blessings I would have missed! 

This morning the Lord took me to Daniel 3--to Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. And I sat in awe of the faith of these men who refused to bow to an idol even in the face of death. Who, with the blazing furnace standing ready to swallow them up in an instant, still told the king with conviction: "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up" (Daniel 3: 17-18).

What faith, even in the midst of such dire circumstances to know that God CAN save them but might choose not to and "even if he does not...we will NOT serve your gods...." Oh, how challenging this is. What faith and abundant TRUST in the Lord.

So what furnace are you facing, dear reader? Perhaps it's not blazing--perhaps it's just a small fire. Or perhaps the flames are blazing so high you can barely get through the next minute. What will you do? Where will you place your trust?

Oh, how I pray that we might keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, knowing that He is God and being so thankful we are not. May we pray that He will deliver us from it but may our souls truly resonate with this conviction: even if he does not, we will TRUST in the Lord with all our hearts. Our hope is not in this world or in our circumstances. Our hope and our trust are in the Lord. May the end of all of it be this: to see and revel in the Godness of God, as Piper puts it. To know that any power we have, any good, any success comes from God and God alone, and it is this same God who allows the trials and uses them for His glory and our good. May you "rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:16-18).